- I finally achieved my platinum trophy on Skyrim for the PS3. For those that don't know, this means I got every other trophy in the game.
- My yeard attempt is halfway through the first month. The Yeard In Review is the name of my blog chronicling the attempt.
- Work still sucks. Big news there.
- I finally got my Nintendo DSi XL. My mom got it for me this Christmas. Thanks ma!
- Here's a video from a band called Battles. The song is weird, but worth listening to.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Generic Update Blog Title
Here's an update on things.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
My new blog
It's called The Yeard In Review. It documents through daily pictures my attempt to grow a year-beard, or yeard. Should be fun. It...starts out a bit awkward. Enjoy!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
One observation, as promised...
When I was in the middle of my sickness, Bill went to the store to get me some medicine. Since I had a bad cough, he got me some Sucrets cough drops. While sitting there, miserable, I looked over at the box, and had this epiphany: Sucrets backwards spells "stercus." Why is this noteworthy? Because stercus is Latin for "shit." Is this really something I want to put in my mouth at this point?
Remember, stercus accidit.
Remember, stercus accidit.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Updates and Observations
I've been sick for the past couple weeks, and I'd like to say that's the reason I haven't blogged anything in a while. I'd be lying though, since it's been a couple months since I've actually posted anything... I haven't been sick that long.
I've been thinking that maybe I need to reassess my reasons for even having a blog. I mean, I sometimes have an inspiration for a post, but often I just don't have much to say. Thus, the long periods of dormancy. And then I do stupid things like create new blogs. I can't help myself. I'm spread so thin on the internet that I don't know where the lines of social media are anymore.
Part of my problem is that while I initially intended this blog to be a sort of mercurial catch-all, it ended up being mostly just short hack essays. I would have an idea for a short post, and I wouldn't post it, because a blog didn't seem the appropriate forum. Or I'd find a video I wanted to share. And then I'd think, "I don't want to create a new blog post just for a video." So I wouldn't post. Instead, those things would find their way to facebook. But I really don't like facebook for those things.
Facebook is nice for connecting with people from time to time. But if you want individual attention, you're subject to the whimsy of the hive-mind of your friend list. There are times when you can say that you're feeling so depressed and sad, and nobody even comments. Other times, you might post that you stubbed your toe, and you have 35 sympathetic responses within an hour. It's easy to have your comments get buried in the ever-flowing stream.
So, from now on, I'm going to be a lot more open to posting shorter thoughts on this blog. After all, it's my blog. It can have whatever rules I want, and I can change those rules at any time. So, expect to see more of my random thoughts here. Now, if I can just expand my readership beyond four people...
So, now a few other notes:
I've been thinking that maybe I need to reassess my reasons for even having a blog. I mean, I sometimes have an inspiration for a post, but often I just don't have much to say. Thus, the long periods of dormancy. And then I do stupid things like create new blogs. I can't help myself. I'm spread so thin on the internet that I don't know where the lines of social media are anymore.
Part of my problem is that while I initially intended this blog to be a sort of mercurial catch-all, it ended up being mostly just short hack essays. I would have an idea for a short post, and I wouldn't post it, because a blog didn't seem the appropriate forum. Or I'd find a video I wanted to share. And then I'd think, "I don't want to create a new blog post just for a video." So I wouldn't post. Instead, those things would find their way to facebook. But I really don't like facebook for those things.
Facebook is nice for connecting with people from time to time. But if you want individual attention, you're subject to the whimsy of the hive-mind of your friend list. There are times when you can say that you're feeling so depressed and sad, and nobody even comments. Other times, you might post that you stubbed your toe, and you have 35 sympathetic responses within an hour. It's easy to have your comments get buried in the ever-flowing stream.
So, from now on, I'm going to be a lot more open to posting shorter thoughts on this blog. After all, it's my blog. It can have whatever rules I want, and I can change those rules at any time. So, expect to see more of my random thoughts here. Now, if I can just expand my readership beyond four people...
So, now a few other notes:
- The other blog I linked up a few paragraphs (Downvote This) is basically an extension of my browsing on Reddit. Frequently, things you post to Reddit are lost to oblivion before anybody has a chance to see them. So, this is my second chance blog. Honestly, I am struck with ideas for posts so rarely that it really probably didn't warrant a blog. But it's what I do, so live with it. As I've said on the intro there, I will probably post links to other peoples' failed submissions as well. I haven't yet though, because I'm lazy. In due time...maybe
- Joining my secondary blog may be a tertiary blog, the name of which I have not yet chosen. To be honest, I'm still debating within myself whether I should do this as a separate blog. Basically, the idea is this (I know, I know, it's far from original, but I'm doing it): On January 1st, 2012, I will be shaving off my facial hair, and the hair on my head. I will then take one picture each day chronicling my path to the vaunted yeard. One year of unfettered beard growth.
Actually, I say that it will be unfettered. That's not quite true. I will probably trim my moustache a bit to keep it from curling up into my nostrils or down into my mouth. And the hair on my head will be cut down whenever I feel necessary. But the beard growth will be an unruly, untamed beast. I hope.
So, the jury is still out as to whether I'll post these daily pics on this blog, or if I should dedicate a new blog specifically for this purpose. I'll figure all that out soon enough. - I don't know why I felt the need to use bullet points here. I only actually had two things to write about. So, this last one is just filler. Smoooooth.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Outiversary
For most people I know, today is important because it's the anniversary of the terrorist attacks in 2001. But for me, this day will always be personally significant for another reason. Sixteen years ago today, I came out of the closet for the first time. Some times it seems like it's been far longer than that. Others it's like it was yesterday. Time has a funny way of dilating when it comes to memory.
And yet, I still remember the feelings leading up to my coming out very clearly. I may have forgotten some details, like the order in which I came out to people, or the exact words that were said when I did. But the dread, thrill of terror, and the sigh of relief I remember perfectly. Some things you just never will forget.
I knew I was gay by the time I was eight or nine years old. I didn't know exactly all that implied, and I by no means had accepted it, but I knew. It's something I struggled with quite a bit. I used to keep a physical journal. It was private and personal. I kept it hidden at all times. But I couldn't even be honest with myself in it. I remember I used to allude to "my big secret." But I didn't have the guts to even write it out. Except for just one time. And then I ripped the page out, and burned it.
I was terrified that if people at school found out, I would get bullied even more than I already was. I'd probably have gotten the shit kicked out of me, too. I was afraid that my mother would disown me. I was afraid that the few friends I had wouldn't like me anymore. People that haven't gone through this don't really know how isolating it can be. Lying to your parents about having sex is one thing. It's survival. Lying to everyone about the core of your existence is another thing entirely. It eats away at you. You get paranoid. You start to feel that if anyone ever finds out, your world will end.
I fought and fought with my sexuality for years. But, by the time I was in high school, I finally realized that all the hoping, praying, and determination in the world wouldn't change basic biology. I hate it when people talk to me about it being a choice. I didn't choose this. I wouldn't have chosen this at the time. I wanted more than anything to be "normal" and straight. It wasn't until high school that I understood that being gay was normal for me.
In a way, that was even worse than hating myself for being gay. Because it was at that point that I believed that I had to live a lie for the rest of my life. I thought I was going to have to meet a woman that I could force myself to have sex with so that I could have kids and live the life that was expected of me. I can't even put words to the crushing despair I felt. I just knew that I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life, because I could never be true to who I actually was.
I even contemplated suicide on more than one occasion. I was so blinded by the small world I inhabited, that I couldn't see beyond it to what my life would be like outside the stifling atmosphere of high school and being a teenager. I was already a timid, scared kid. The thought of going off to college, leaving my home and my comfort zone (as small as that comfort was) was overwhelming. Add to that my certainty that I would be stuck in a lie forever, and the future seemed pretty bleak. I stood in the kitchen in the middle of the night more than once, holding a bottle of pills in my hand, and just thinking "what if?"
Obviously I never tried to answer this question. And I'm glad. College changed my world view considerably. It became more and more absurd to think I was going to live the lie for the rest of my life. Nobody was even preventing me from cutting class. How would they prevent me from doing anything else? I had freedom. I started forging my own identity. I stopped caring as much about other peoples' expectations, and started deciding who I wanted to be.
There were growing pains. I admit to some outlandish behavior in my quest to discover who I really was. I faked self-confidence until I started to actually have some for real. I acted out, and acted as crazily as I possibly could, just to test the boundaries. It was fun, and it was scary, and it was ridiculous. But it all underscored what I was starting to understand: We create our own identities, and we shape the worlds around us to fit those identities.
My sophomore year was a transformative year. The college experience was a bit underwhelming. I was more academically challenged in high school. But the things it did for me socially were unmistakable. I had friends, and a bit of freedom, and my own identity. I got involved in the theater. I forged lasting friendships. I grew emotionally. And I started to realize that the last construct of my previous life was preventing me from being happy.
I was sitting in my dorm room, talking to my roommate about various things. We were listening to music, and a song came on that had always resonated with me. It was "Heal" by the Catherine Wheel. There was a line that always hit me hard. It was "everybody needs someone to live by." To me it meant that there was a person out there that was the complement to your soul. The other half of your being. Someone that changes everything for you. And this isn't someone you just want to be with. It's someone you need to be with, to live. And I just thought to myself "either come out, or kill yourself. Stop living in Limbo." So, apropos of nothing, I just blurted out to Alf that I was gay. I remember that as I did it, I punched my leg so hard that I bruised badly. I think I just used the pain to focus on and not think about how scared I was to come out.
That started a chain reaction for me. I realized that coming out face to face was just too hard for me. I was barely able to do so with Alf, and he was openly gay. So, I started coming out in other ways. I wrote an e-mail to my friends Danielle and Amy. That was easier. Once I sent the e-mail, there was no taking it back, no chickening out. I mentioned to Danielle that I was thinking of making a "coming out" essay to give to people. She encouraged me to do so.
So I did. Everyone I came out to for a while after that, I used the essay. Danielle and my friend Michelle would encourage me constantly. "Don't you have something you want them to read, Jason?" Hint hint. With their help, I expanded the number of people who knew. I relied heavily on my friends. Travis and Meghan were the ones who helped me become more comfortable with myself and my attractions. They bought me my first gay magazine.
I eased my way into coming out to my family by telling my brother's girlfriend (now wife) first, because she was like a sister to me, but not part of the baggage that comes with family. Then my brother. Then my sister. It would be a while before I came out to my mother, though. That was so terrifying. She was hurt that I chose to send the essay to her in the mail instead of coming out face to face. But what I tell people all the time (including people that haven't come out yet) is that you do it in your own way. You do what you have to do to come out comfortably. You can't do it anybody else's way. In your own time, and in your own way is the only way to do it.
And I did it in some interesting ways. Via e-mail back in 1995, when the internet was an entirely different animal. Over the headset during a live performance of Twelfth Night. Seriously. During lunch, surrounded by rednecks, while working at Wal-Mart. I submitted my essay for homework during a Creative Writing class, and it was critiqued by the class. So, Ive done it when and where I could. And I've lived openly since then, and been happier for it.
I've never been more grateful to the friends and family who helped me to finally start being who I really was. It allowed me to live enough, to make enough mistakes, and to get enough experience with relationships, that when I met Bill, I was ready and able to do my part to make it a happy, healthy, and stable relationship. We celebrated our thirteenth anniversary last month, and I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. I've found my someone to live by, and life has been infinitely better for it. I love you Bill, and I thank you for being worth waiting for. Thank you for being the culmination of that journey, and for being with me as we continue that journey together.
And yet, I still remember the feelings leading up to my coming out very clearly. I may have forgotten some details, like the order in which I came out to people, or the exact words that were said when I did. But the dread, thrill of terror, and the sigh of relief I remember perfectly. Some things you just never will forget.
I knew I was gay by the time I was eight or nine years old. I didn't know exactly all that implied, and I by no means had accepted it, but I knew. It's something I struggled with quite a bit. I used to keep a physical journal. It was private and personal. I kept it hidden at all times. But I couldn't even be honest with myself in it. I remember I used to allude to "my big secret." But I didn't have the guts to even write it out. Except for just one time. And then I ripped the page out, and burned it.
I was terrified that if people at school found out, I would get bullied even more than I already was. I'd probably have gotten the shit kicked out of me, too. I was afraid that my mother would disown me. I was afraid that the few friends I had wouldn't like me anymore. People that haven't gone through this don't really know how isolating it can be. Lying to your parents about having sex is one thing. It's survival. Lying to everyone about the core of your existence is another thing entirely. It eats away at you. You get paranoid. You start to feel that if anyone ever finds out, your world will end.
I fought and fought with my sexuality for years. But, by the time I was in high school, I finally realized that all the hoping, praying, and determination in the world wouldn't change basic biology. I hate it when people talk to me about it being a choice. I didn't choose this. I wouldn't have chosen this at the time. I wanted more than anything to be "normal" and straight. It wasn't until high school that I understood that being gay was normal for me.
In a way, that was even worse than hating myself for being gay. Because it was at that point that I believed that I had to live a lie for the rest of my life. I thought I was going to have to meet a woman that I could force myself to have sex with so that I could have kids and live the life that was expected of me. I can't even put words to the crushing despair I felt. I just knew that I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life, because I could never be true to who I actually was.
I even contemplated suicide on more than one occasion. I was so blinded by the small world I inhabited, that I couldn't see beyond it to what my life would be like outside the stifling atmosphere of high school and being a teenager. I was already a timid, scared kid. The thought of going off to college, leaving my home and my comfort zone (as small as that comfort was) was overwhelming. Add to that my certainty that I would be stuck in a lie forever, and the future seemed pretty bleak. I stood in the kitchen in the middle of the night more than once, holding a bottle of pills in my hand, and just thinking "what if?"
Obviously I never tried to answer this question. And I'm glad. College changed my world view considerably. It became more and more absurd to think I was going to live the lie for the rest of my life. Nobody was even preventing me from cutting class. How would they prevent me from doing anything else? I had freedom. I started forging my own identity. I stopped caring as much about other peoples' expectations, and started deciding who I wanted to be.
There were growing pains. I admit to some outlandish behavior in my quest to discover who I really was. I faked self-confidence until I started to actually have some for real. I acted out, and acted as crazily as I possibly could, just to test the boundaries. It was fun, and it was scary, and it was ridiculous. But it all underscored what I was starting to understand: We create our own identities, and we shape the worlds around us to fit those identities.
My sophomore year was a transformative year. The college experience was a bit underwhelming. I was more academically challenged in high school. But the things it did for me socially were unmistakable. I had friends, and a bit of freedom, and my own identity. I got involved in the theater. I forged lasting friendships. I grew emotionally. And I started to realize that the last construct of my previous life was preventing me from being happy.
I was sitting in my dorm room, talking to my roommate about various things. We were listening to music, and a song came on that had always resonated with me. It was "Heal" by the Catherine Wheel. There was a line that always hit me hard. It was "everybody needs someone to live by." To me it meant that there was a person out there that was the complement to your soul. The other half of your being. Someone that changes everything for you. And this isn't someone you just want to be with. It's someone you need to be with, to live. And I just thought to myself "either come out, or kill yourself. Stop living in Limbo." So, apropos of nothing, I just blurted out to Alf that I was gay. I remember that as I did it, I punched my leg so hard that I bruised badly. I think I just used the pain to focus on and not think about how scared I was to come out.
That started a chain reaction for me. I realized that coming out face to face was just too hard for me. I was barely able to do so with Alf, and he was openly gay. So, I started coming out in other ways. I wrote an e-mail to my friends Danielle and Amy. That was easier. Once I sent the e-mail, there was no taking it back, no chickening out. I mentioned to Danielle that I was thinking of making a "coming out" essay to give to people. She encouraged me to do so.
So I did. Everyone I came out to for a while after that, I used the essay. Danielle and my friend Michelle would encourage me constantly. "Don't you have something you want them to read, Jason?" Hint hint. With their help, I expanded the number of people who knew. I relied heavily on my friends. Travis and Meghan were the ones who helped me become more comfortable with myself and my attractions. They bought me my first gay magazine.
I eased my way into coming out to my family by telling my brother's girlfriend (now wife) first, because she was like a sister to me, but not part of the baggage that comes with family. Then my brother. Then my sister. It would be a while before I came out to my mother, though. That was so terrifying. She was hurt that I chose to send the essay to her in the mail instead of coming out face to face. But what I tell people all the time (including people that haven't come out yet) is that you do it in your own way. You do what you have to do to come out comfortably. You can't do it anybody else's way. In your own time, and in your own way is the only way to do it.
And I did it in some interesting ways. Via e-mail back in 1995, when the internet was an entirely different animal. Over the headset during a live performance of Twelfth Night. Seriously. During lunch, surrounded by rednecks, while working at Wal-Mart. I submitted my essay for homework during a Creative Writing class, and it was critiqued by the class. So, Ive done it when and where I could. And I've lived openly since then, and been happier for it.
I've never been more grateful to the friends and family who helped me to finally start being who I really was. It allowed me to live enough, to make enough mistakes, and to get enough experience with relationships, that when I met Bill, I was ready and able to do my part to make it a happy, healthy, and stable relationship. We celebrated our thirteenth anniversary last month, and I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. I've found my someone to live by, and life has been infinitely better for it. I love you Bill, and I thank you for being worth waiting for. Thank you for being the culmination of that journey, and for being with me as we continue that journey together.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Playlist for 7/18/11
- Diablo Swing Orchestra - A Tapdancer's Dilemma
- Asrai - In Front of Me
- Pinback - Sherman
- Beirut - Elephant Gun
- sElf - Could You Love Me Now?
- Hot Chip - Over and Over
- Damien Rice - 9 Crimes
- Cibo Matto - Sugar Water
- Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks
- In This Moment - You Always Believed
- Dirty Projectors - Stillness Is the Move
- VAST - Touched
- Hybrid - Choke
- Metric - Black Sheep
- The Temper Trap - Down River
- Dresden Dolls - Dirty Business
- Greg Laswell - Your Ghost
- Optiganally Yours - Figaro
- The Paper Raincoat - Sympathetic Vibration
- Metisse - Boom Boom Ba
Thursday, July 7, 2011
More Things I Hate (Rant II, the Revenge)
So, it's been a while since I've ranted, and that's what I originally planned to do a lot of with this blog. With that in mind, I've decided it's time. And yesterday I found inspiration on a few different subjects. Bill and I went to Wal-Mart with a friend because we needed quite a bit of stuff for the new apartment we moved into last weekend. No, the rant isn't about Wal-Mart specifically, though I do think that they are evil. But, to quote Nightwish: "Beware the Beast, but enjoy the feast he offers." No, it's the people AT Wal-Mart that will start this rant off. So, without further ado, my rant.
Fat people in electric carts
This is among the most irritating things I've ever seen. If I had been playing Wal-Mart Bingo I would have scored points before even getting in the store. I saw no less than 5 fat ladies riding the scooters provided for people with actual physical handicaps. Sorry, but fat isn't a handicap. It's the result of poor choices. Now, I realize that there is always the possibility that someone has a legitimate ailment or condition ("it's glandular...") that makes them morbidly obese. And maybe you could argue that it is a handicap in that case. But I seriously doubt all of these people actually had a handicap.
Fat people can walk. If you're fat, it's most likely because of overeating, eating the wrong foods, and lack of exercise. So, really, fat people not only can walk, but should. Bill and I were fat. We've still got a long way to go before we aren't considered fat anymore. But the fact is, we never blamed anyone but ourselves, and when it became an obstacle to comfortable living and a healthy self-image, we changed. We started going for walks. We started taking the stairs. We became more active. And we began to monitor what we ate. We have very low willpower. If we can do this, anybody can.
So, it's not my life, so why do I get pissed off? Because there are legitimately handicapped people for whom the electric scooters are intended. Wal-Mart has a large number of these scooters. But not an unlimited number. And if they're all taken up by fat lazy people, then the people that actually need them will be made to suffer. While I was at Wal-Mart in line to pay, the two women in front of me were both in scooters. One of them was very fat indeed. The other wasn't what I'd call morbidly obese. Yes, she was fat, but not cripplingly so. But what killed me is that to get to her money, she stood up to dig through her pockets. So, she's able-bodied enough for that. It just irritates me. While waiting for Bill to be done checking out, I overheard two employees talking. They were out of fresh scooters, so they were going to bring more out. The junior employee said "But those aren't even charged!" The senior employee said "but we don't have any left, and the manager said we need to." So, essentially, if someone with a real need came in, they'd have the very real possibility of being stranded in the middle of the store when the charge died, all because of some very selfish, lazy fat people.
Parents who don't parent
Well what do you know? This one is on the bingo card too! The incident that specifically made me think of this one also occurred during checkout. There was a young couple with a little girl of about three years old. The girl was in the cart (not the seat portion, but the actual basket). The mother was facing away, looking at the cashier. The father was standing next to the cart, and giving furtive glances at the girl. Well, I guess I'm just assuming it's the father. Maybe it's just a friend of the mother. Who knows? The point is, the little girl was jumping up and down in the cart and screeching.
First of all, I'd like to point out that three year olds aren't known for their grace and dexterity. So the kid could very easily have fallen out of the cart. But the screeching had to be annoying to more than just me. The mother kept shooting glares at her kid, but never actually did anything. She didn't say a word. She didn't make the child sit. She just let the kid be an annoyance to everyone in the vicinity with the ability to hear.
The sad fact is that this is really common, and not just at Wal-Mart. How many times have you seen kids running amok in a public place. They're making too much noise, hitting into people and objects, knocking things over and being at best a nuisance, and at worst an actual physical threat. And where are the parents? Either nowhere to be seen, or even worse, right there allowing it. When I worked front desk at a hotel, I would frequently have to deal with children running around unsupervised. It's like the parents figured the staff would take care of them. We have other things to deal with that are actually our job. I don't like kids at all, so that makes this one doubly irritating to me.
When I was a kid, if we acted up, we would get disciplined by my mother. It would range from threats of grounding all the way up to spanking if our behavior was particularly bad. I just don't know what accounts for the permissiveness that you see in parents today. Is it because they're afraid that if they spank their children in public, that Child Protective Services will get them for abuse? Or are they so soft that they think spanking is wrong and you should try reasoning with your children? Whatever the reason, they need to reassess their plan, because spanking works. I know it worked on me and my siblings.
Parents who over-parent
This probably seems weird considering my last point. I realize it's a balancing act. But some people just go too far in the other direction. I didn't specifically see any of this at Wal-Mart yesterday, though I've certainly seen it in various places over the years. Have you ever seen a parent who just completely overreacts to a small situation? Now, I understand that there might be more than what I've seen. Perhaps the kid was being a little asshole the entire car trip out to wherever they happen to be. Or maybe the little brat is doing something he's been told not to do dozens of times before. So I understand all that. But I've seen parents (in some cases people I actually knew personally) who were so strict and mean to their kids that it's a wonder the children never ran away.
It's always disturbing to me to see this particular thing, because sometimes you can really hear and feel the venom in the adult's voice as they yell at (or worse, do that whole "fierce whisper" sort of thing) their kids. And if I can hear or feel it, you can bet the kid does too. It's sort of distressing to hear a mother talk with more hate than love when dealing with her child. My mom was stern when she needed to be, but I've never heard anything even close to dislike from her, let alone the bile that some of these parents unleash on their kids.
The other side of the over-parenting coin is the overprotective coddler. These are the parents who act as if their children are so fragile that simply hearing the wrong thing will require years of therapy to undo. They aren't aloud to play outside because there is evidently a child molester on every street corner. These children are going to grow up so afraid of the world that they will be unprepared to actually deal with life. Parents need to find a healthy balance. Teach your child independence, but don't skimp on teaching discipline and manners, either. It's your job as a parent. My job doesn't involve raising your kids.
Celebrating mediocrity
This seems like a natural segue from the mollycoddling parents of the previous point. Why do we feel the need to reward people for just showing up? What's the point of a competition if everyone gets a ribbon? I don't remember there being too much of this sort of thing when I was growing up, though I'm sure it must have been happening. I never got a "thanks for participating" medal. I never got a "participation trophy." It defeats the purpose of competition to do these things. And a bit of competitive spirit is not a bad thing to teach children. Competition drives excellence. Do you really want to teach your kids that doing the bare minimum is just fine? If there's no reason to excel, people simply won't.
One of coworkers was bragging and showing off pictures of her granddaughter's graduation...from Kindergarten. Really? A full cap-and-gown commencement for kids who don't even know what the hell a commencement is? That makes no sense at all. It's unnecessary and excessive. And what's the benefit? Is it to create a false sense of being special so even unremarkable children feel accomplished? It sort of seems like setting them up to fail in the real world, which isn't half as indulgent.
Also related to this point is the overuse of the word "hero." These days, if you even sign up for the military, you're called a hero. I think people confuse the concept of a hero with a personal hero. There's a big difference. Just signing on the dotted line and putting on a uniform doesn't make you a hero. Getting sent overseas in wartime doesn't make you a hero. You're doing your job. Going above and beyond, risking life and limb to save another, taking a chance to make a large difference, regardless of the cost....those are heroic actions. Sitting in a camp, eating MREs and doing drills doesn't make you a hero. Even participating in combat doesn't necessarily make you a hero. Surviving makes you skilled, or lucky. Going to war makes you a soldier, maybe even a good one. But a hero? Come on.
Court case du jour and the armchair litigators
The most recent occurence of this is Casey Anthony case. There are several aspects of this that piss me off, and I'm going to try to cover all of them. Point one: what makes the case du jour more important or newsworthy than the hundreds upon hundreds of other murders, disappearances, kidnappings, rapes, and other heinous crimes? The media decides that they can really get a high ratings response from particular cases. Maybe it's because there's a cute kid involved. Maybe it's because it's a pretty white girl on vacation. I have to wonder why you don't see a big fanfare if the girl who disappears is black, or Mexican, or unattractive.
So the media applies their process to the news of the day, and sees which diamonds in the rough they can polish and turn into a treasure of ratings. They present what facts they are given by the authorities (usually not all of them, of course) and make a snap judgment about the suspect. They give their opinions like they are facts, and they try and convict the person based on conjecture. They present the news with that bias intact, and the public eats it up, because it's a good story. Then these armchair litigators act as if they're experts on the case because they've been watching Nancy Grace's coverage every night. They make the snap decision they've been spoonfed, and they think it's their own well-reasoned logic that informed their opinion.
The whole process pisses me off. Looking specifically at the Casey Anthony case, I've heard many people express disgust and disbelief that she "got away with it." But you can be damn sure that if they were on trial, they would want the same benifit of reasonable doubt that they are indignant about in this case. Even though she was found not guilty, she will be dogged by the assumption of her guilt. She'll be stigmatized and will most likely have to move. But since this case was covered nationally, where can she go? This will very likely affect her prospects of future employment. Yet she'll also be judged if she attempts to profit from this whole fiasco. She's in a no-win situation, and it shouldn't be that way.
People can argue that the public has a right to know. But if it hampers justice, how can we possibly retain that right? Why do we "need" to know the details of this particular case, when there are thousands more that no one even cares about? How are we as the public benefitting for the case being publicized? We aren't. The only thing satisfied is our own prurient nature and the chance to exercise the self-perceived skills we gleaned from Law and Order and CSI.
I get so angry when I hear someone declaim how they know someone's guilty, as if their opinion is somehow more valid than the decision of a jury of the defendant's peers, who had all the evidence put before them and had a reasoned and unbiased examination and deliberation on those facts. That's just hubris, and there's no place for it in the justice system.
Whew, rant over. I feel much better now. If you fit into one of these categories, I don't mean to offend you, but I still mean what I say. I'm by no means perfect, and I'll happily read your rants about my behavior if you'd like.
Fat people in electric carts
This is among the most irritating things I've ever seen. If I had been playing Wal-Mart Bingo I would have scored points before even getting in the store. I saw no less than 5 fat ladies riding the scooters provided for people with actual physical handicaps. Sorry, but fat isn't a handicap. It's the result of poor choices. Now, I realize that there is always the possibility that someone has a legitimate ailment or condition ("it's glandular...") that makes them morbidly obese. And maybe you could argue that it is a handicap in that case. But I seriously doubt all of these people actually had a handicap.
Fat people can walk. If you're fat, it's most likely because of overeating, eating the wrong foods, and lack of exercise. So, really, fat people not only can walk, but should. Bill and I were fat. We've still got a long way to go before we aren't considered fat anymore. But the fact is, we never blamed anyone but ourselves, and when it became an obstacle to comfortable living and a healthy self-image, we changed. We started going for walks. We started taking the stairs. We became more active. And we began to monitor what we ate. We have very low willpower. If we can do this, anybody can.
So, it's not my life, so why do I get pissed off? Because there are legitimately handicapped people for whom the electric scooters are intended. Wal-Mart has a large number of these scooters. But not an unlimited number. And if they're all taken up by fat lazy people, then the people that actually need them will be made to suffer. While I was at Wal-Mart in line to pay, the two women in front of me were both in scooters. One of them was very fat indeed. The other wasn't what I'd call morbidly obese. Yes, she was fat, but not cripplingly so. But what killed me is that to get to her money, she stood up to dig through her pockets. So, she's able-bodied enough for that. It just irritates me. While waiting for Bill to be done checking out, I overheard two employees talking. They were out of fresh scooters, so they were going to bring more out. The junior employee said "But those aren't even charged!" The senior employee said "but we don't have any left, and the manager said we need to." So, essentially, if someone with a real need came in, they'd have the very real possibility of being stranded in the middle of the store when the charge died, all because of some very selfish, lazy fat people.
Parents who don't parent
Well what do you know? This one is on the bingo card too! The incident that specifically made me think of this one also occurred during checkout. There was a young couple with a little girl of about three years old. The girl was in the cart (not the seat portion, but the actual basket). The mother was facing away, looking at the cashier. The father was standing next to the cart, and giving furtive glances at the girl. Well, I guess I'm just assuming it's the father. Maybe it's just a friend of the mother. Who knows? The point is, the little girl was jumping up and down in the cart and screeching.
First of all, I'd like to point out that three year olds aren't known for their grace and dexterity. So the kid could very easily have fallen out of the cart. But the screeching had to be annoying to more than just me. The mother kept shooting glares at her kid, but never actually did anything. She didn't say a word. She didn't make the child sit. She just let the kid be an annoyance to everyone in the vicinity with the ability to hear.
The sad fact is that this is really common, and not just at Wal-Mart. How many times have you seen kids running amok in a public place. They're making too much noise, hitting into people and objects, knocking things over and being at best a nuisance, and at worst an actual physical threat. And where are the parents? Either nowhere to be seen, or even worse, right there allowing it. When I worked front desk at a hotel, I would frequently have to deal with children running around unsupervised. It's like the parents figured the staff would take care of them. We have other things to deal with that are actually our job. I don't like kids at all, so that makes this one doubly irritating to me.
When I was a kid, if we acted up, we would get disciplined by my mother. It would range from threats of grounding all the way up to spanking if our behavior was particularly bad. I just don't know what accounts for the permissiveness that you see in parents today. Is it because they're afraid that if they spank their children in public, that Child Protective Services will get them for abuse? Or are they so soft that they think spanking is wrong and you should try reasoning with your children? Whatever the reason, they need to reassess their plan, because spanking works. I know it worked on me and my siblings.
Parents who over-parent
This probably seems weird considering my last point. I realize it's a balancing act. But some people just go too far in the other direction. I didn't specifically see any of this at Wal-Mart yesterday, though I've certainly seen it in various places over the years. Have you ever seen a parent who just completely overreacts to a small situation? Now, I understand that there might be more than what I've seen. Perhaps the kid was being a little asshole the entire car trip out to wherever they happen to be. Or maybe the little brat is doing something he's been told not to do dozens of times before. So I understand all that. But I've seen parents (in some cases people I actually knew personally) who were so strict and mean to their kids that it's a wonder the children never ran away.
It's always disturbing to me to see this particular thing, because sometimes you can really hear and feel the venom in the adult's voice as they yell at (or worse, do that whole "fierce whisper" sort of thing) their kids. And if I can hear or feel it, you can bet the kid does too. It's sort of distressing to hear a mother talk with more hate than love when dealing with her child. My mom was stern when she needed to be, but I've never heard anything even close to dislike from her, let alone the bile that some of these parents unleash on their kids.
The other side of the over-parenting coin is the overprotective coddler. These are the parents who act as if their children are so fragile that simply hearing the wrong thing will require years of therapy to undo. They aren't aloud to play outside because there is evidently a child molester on every street corner. These children are going to grow up so afraid of the world that they will be unprepared to actually deal with life. Parents need to find a healthy balance. Teach your child independence, but don't skimp on teaching discipline and manners, either. It's your job as a parent. My job doesn't involve raising your kids.
Celebrating mediocrity
This seems like a natural segue from the mollycoddling parents of the previous point. Why do we feel the need to reward people for just showing up? What's the point of a competition if everyone gets a ribbon? I don't remember there being too much of this sort of thing when I was growing up, though I'm sure it must have been happening. I never got a "thanks for participating" medal. I never got a "participation trophy." It defeats the purpose of competition to do these things. And a bit of competitive spirit is not a bad thing to teach children. Competition drives excellence. Do you really want to teach your kids that doing the bare minimum is just fine? If there's no reason to excel, people simply won't.
One of coworkers was bragging and showing off pictures of her granddaughter's graduation...from Kindergarten. Really? A full cap-and-gown commencement for kids who don't even know what the hell a commencement is? That makes no sense at all. It's unnecessary and excessive. And what's the benefit? Is it to create a false sense of being special so even unremarkable children feel accomplished? It sort of seems like setting them up to fail in the real world, which isn't half as indulgent.
Also related to this point is the overuse of the word "hero." These days, if you even sign up for the military, you're called a hero. I think people confuse the concept of a hero with a personal hero. There's a big difference. Just signing on the dotted line and putting on a uniform doesn't make you a hero. Getting sent overseas in wartime doesn't make you a hero. You're doing your job. Going above and beyond, risking life and limb to save another, taking a chance to make a large difference, regardless of the cost....those are heroic actions. Sitting in a camp, eating MREs and doing drills doesn't make you a hero. Even participating in combat doesn't necessarily make you a hero. Surviving makes you skilled, or lucky. Going to war makes you a soldier, maybe even a good one. But a hero? Come on.
Court case du jour and the armchair litigators
The most recent occurence of this is Casey Anthony case. There are several aspects of this that piss me off, and I'm going to try to cover all of them. Point one: what makes the case du jour more important or newsworthy than the hundreds upon hundreds of other murders, disappearances, kidnappings, rapes, and other heinous crimes? The media decides that they can really get a high ratings response from particular cases. Maybe it's because there's a cute kid involved. Maybe it's because it's a pretty white girl on vacation. I have to wonder why you don't see a big fanfare if the girl who disappears is black, or Mexican, or unattractive.
So the media applies their process to the news of the day, and sees which diamonds in the rough they can polish and turn into a treasure of ratings. They present what facts they are given by the authorities (usually not all of them, of course) and make a snap judgment about the suspect. They give their opinions like they are facts, and they try and convict the person based on conjecture. They present the news with that bias intact, and the public eats it up, because it's a good story. Then these armchair litigators act as if they're experts on the case because they've been watching Nancy Grace's coverage every night. They make the snap decision they've been spoonfed, and they think it's their own well-reasoned logic that informed their opinion.
The whole process pisses me off. Looking specifically at the Casey Anthony case, I've heard many people express disgust and disbelief that she "got away with it." But you can be damn sure that if they were on trial, they would want the same benifit of reasonable doubt that they are indignant about in this case. Even though she was found not guilty, she will be dogged by the assumption of her guilt. She'll be stigmatized and will most likely have to move. But since this case was covered nationally, where can she go? This will very likely affect her prospects of future employment. Yet she'll also be judged if she attempts to profit from this whole fiasco. She's in a no-win situation, and it shouldn't be that way.
People can argue that the public has a right to know. But if it hampers justice, how can we possibly retain that right? Why do we "need" to know the details of this particular case, when there are thousands more that no one even cares about? How are we as the public benefitting for the case being publicized? We aren't. The only thing satisfied is our own prurient nature and the chance to exercise the self-perceived skills we gleaned from Law and Order and CSI.
I get so angry when I hear someone declaim how they know someone's guilty, as if their opinion is somehow more valid than the decision of a jury of the defendant's peers, who had all the evidence put before them and had a reasoned and unbiased examination and deliberation on those facts. That's just hubris, and there's no place for it in the justice system.
Whew, rant over. I feel much better now. If you fit into one of these categories, I don't mean to offend you, but I still mean what I say. I'm by no means perfect, and I'll happily read your rants about my behavior if you'd like.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Playlist 6/20/11
Here's another playlist, generated from shuffling my MP3s on my PSP. There's some good stuff here.
- Lullacry - Unchain
- Pinback - Boo
- The Blow - True Affection
- Cross My Heart - Infinity Doesn't Live Here Anymore
- Nina Gordon - Tonight and the Rest of My Life
- Team Sleep - Blvd Nights
- Systems Officer - Hael
- Ladyhawke - Manipulating Woman
- Outkast - Hey Ya
- Lacuna Coil - Stars
- Phoenix - One Time Too Many
- Placebo - Space Monkey
- The Hillary Step - No Good Reason
- Postal Service - Such Great Heights
- Tarja Turunen - Ciaran's Well
- Other Men - In This Wind
- Reggie and the Full Effect - Smith & 9th
- Jimmy Eat World - Over
- The Kite-Eating Tree - Hollywood Hates You
- Iced Earth - Behold the Wicked Child
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
PlayStation Vita
A few months ago, I posted an entry to my wishlist about the PSP2, or NGP. Well, yesterday, at Sony's E3 keynote, the NGP got its official name: PlayStation Vita. I know, it's kind of a terrible name (though not as bad as Wii U). Vita means "life" in Latin, so maybe they're taking a stab at gamers, whose lives revolve around things like this.
But, silly name or not, I'm as jazzed as ever for it to come out. This is going to be a powerful little contraption. There will be two versions of the system released. The first, Wi-Fi only model will be $249. The second one, which is Wi-Fi/3G support, will be $299. That may seem steep to a lot of people, but to someone whose life revolves around things like this....ahem....it seems pretty worth it. The only downside is that they announced AT&T as the official service provider for the Vita. I'm not too jazzed about that, but what can I do. I have to own this. It's not optional.
There are plenty of little teasers and trailers about new games for the Vita, but the one that impressed me the most was the video for LittleBigPlanet, so I've included that here. It looks like it will be an amazing experience. While it's unfortunate that the user-generated content won't be ported, at least any costume DLC you have from LBP and LBP2 will be.
Enjoy!
But, silly name or not, I'm as jazzed as ever for it to come out. This is going to be a powerful little contraption. There will be two versions of the system released. The first, Wi-Fi only model will be $249. The second one, which is Wi-Fi/3G support, will be $299. That may seem steep to a lot of people, but to someone whose life revolves around things like this....ahem....it seems pretty worth it. The only downside is that they announced AT&T as the official service provider for the Vita. I'm not too jazzed about that, but what can I do. I have to own this. It's not optional.
There are plenty of little teasers and trailers about new games for the Vita, but the one that impressed me the most was the video for LittleBigPlanet, so I've included that here. It looks like it will be an amazing experience. While it's unfortunate that the user-generated content won't be ported, at least any costume DLC you have from LBP and LBP2 will be.
Enjoy!
Friday, June 3, 2011
PlayStation Store
Well, it's been quite a while since I've updated this blog. A lot has happened. In case you don't follow these sorts of things, Sony's PlayStation Network was attacked by hackers, resulting in one of the largest security breaches in history. Something like 77 million PSN accounts were compromised in the attack. If you have a PSN account, your personal information was stolen.
These attacks left the PSN and other PlayStation related services like Qriocity offline for nearly six weeks. For over six weeks, there were no updates to the PlayStation Store. We couldn't play games online, or even couch co-op games like Sacred 2: Fallen Angel, as it requires that you sign in to the PSN on each profile when you play in co-op mode. The breach cost Sony $171 million. And probably more, in the long run, since many people jumped ship and committed to the 360 in response to the outage.
Now, finally, the last bit of Sony's service is restored, with the PlayStation store coming back online yesterday. There will be updates every Tuesday and Friday until they catch up. A lot of people are criticizing Sony for the whole debacle. Some say they even deserved it for antagonizing the hacking community by suing George Hotz for jailbreaking the PS3 and posting the root keys on his website.
My feeling on the matter is that while Sony mishandled the issue when it came to swift response and communicating with it's customers, at the core, they were victims in this. They didn't deserve to be attacked in this way. They were protecting the security of their hardware, and the health of their assets, as any business would. Why should they be targeted. X-Box 360 fanboys act as if their precious Microsoft wouldn't do the exact same thing if their business was threatened in that way.
What pisses me off the most about this, though, is that the real victims were the 77 million people whose accounts were compromised, and whose enjoyment of their personal property was limited by thoughtless, selfish hackers. If you manage to hack the PS3 to install custom firmware, then great. But don't distribute that information to everybody. Because it's the fans that suffer. We couldn't sync trophies that we earned. We couldn't play games online that we purchased. We couldn't download new games and DLC that we wanted, and that 360 and PC gamers got much earlier. It's not fair. If you don't like the way Sony does business, just don't do business with them. But don't infringe on my right to do business with them.
Sony is trying to make good on their promises to compensate it's customers. I for one think they've made some good choices, for the most part. First of all, they are offering one full year of free identity theft protection. They've also announced (and begun rolling out) a "Welcome Back" deal. This deal consists of an additional 60 days of PlayStation Plus membership to subcribers, and various free content. I have read that PlayStation Home users will get around 100 free virtual items for their Home spaces and avatars, though I haven't been on that service yet since it was restored.
The free content that I'm sure about (for North America, anyway) is for the most part pretty good stuff. First of all, you get to choose any two from the following list of PS3 games:
You also get your choice of two from a list of four PSP games. Here's the list:
The Video section of the PS Store has three movies available for free rental, in Standard or High Definition. I'm not sure if these are the only free rentals forthcoming, or if they're going to do more on the following weekends. This is the only part of the Welcome Back package that was disappointing. Here are the three movies:
I feel bad for the people that actually already own all the games available for compensation. I know there are more than a few people in this situation. That's the danger of them offering some of the more popular titles. Maybe Sony should have just given everybody a sizeable credit on their PSN account, available for them to spend any way they see fit. But they didn't. At any rate, I think Sony is at least trying to do the right thing for their fans and supporters, and I applaud them for it.
These attacks left the PSN and other PlayStation related services like Qriocity offline for nearly six weeks. For over six weeks, there were no updates to the PlayStation Store. We couldn't play games online, or even couch co-op games like Sacred 2: Fallen Angel, as it requires that you sign in to the PSN on each profile when you play in co-op mode. The breach cost Sony $171 million. And probably more, in the long run, since many people jumped ship and committed to the 360 in response to the outage.
Now, finally, the last bit of Sony's service is restored, with the PlayStation store coming back online yesterday. There will be updates every Tuesday and Friday until they catch up. A lot of people are criticizing Sony for the whole debacle. Some say they even deserved it for antagonizing the hacking community by suing George Hotz for jailbreaking the PS3 and posting the root keys on his website.
My feeling on the matter is that while Sony mishandled the issue when it came to swift response and communicating with it's customers, at the core, they were victims in this. They didn't deserve to be attacked in this way. They were protecting the security of their hardware, and the health of their assets, as any business would. Why should they be targeted. X-Box 360 fanboys act as if their precious Microsoft wouldn't do the exact same thing if their business was threatened in that way.
What pisses me off the most about this, though, is that the real victims were the 77 million people whose accounts were compromised, and whose enjoyment of their personal property was limited by thoughtless, selfish hackers. If you manage to hack the PS3 to install custom firmware, then great. But don't distribute that information to everybody. Because it's the fans that suffer. We couldn't sync trophies that we earned. We couldn't play games online that we purchased. We couldn't download new games and DLC that we wanted, and that 360 and PC gamers got much earlier. It's not fair. If you don't like the way Sony does business, just don't do business with them. But don't infringe on my right to do business with them.
Sony is trying to make good on their promises to compensate it's customers. I for one think they've made some good choices, for the most part. First of all, they are offering one full year of free identity theft protection. They've also announced (and begun rolling out) a "Welcome Back" deal. This deal consists of an additional 60 days of PlayStation Plus membership to subcribers, and various free content. I have read that PlayStation Home users will get around 100 free virtual items for their Home spaces and avatars, though I haven't been on that service yet since it was restored.
The free content that I'm sure about (for North America, anyway) is for the most part pretty good stuff. First of all, you get to choose any two from the following list of PS3 games:
- Wipeout HD/Fury
- Little Big Planet
- InFamous
- Dead Nation
- Super Stardust HD
You also get your choice of two from a list of four PSP games. Here's the list:
- Little Big Planet PSP
- ModNation Racers PSP
- Pursuit Force
- Killzone: Liberation
The Video section of the PS Store has three movies available for free rental, in Standard or High Definition. I'm not sure if these are the only free rentals forthcoming, or if they're going to do more on the following weekends. This is the only part of the Welcome Back package that was disappointing. Here are the three movies:
- Ghostbusters - This is the only one that I bothered downloading. Sure it's sort of a modern classic, but it's a movie that nearly everybody has already seen. Sure, it was pretty good, but it seems a bit weak as a compensation for six weeks of having no PSN or PS Store at all.
- Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within - Another movie I've already seen. It was graphically quite impressive, but completely weak in every other way. Still, I can kind of understand it being picked. It is sort of tailored for gamers. But if they were going to cater to gamers, they could have at least chosen Advent Children.
- Bad Boys - Yet another movie I've already seen, and I wish I could have the time back. I mean, I like Will Smith as much as the next guy, but Martin Lawrence? Really? That guy's a tool. I'd rather make sweet love to a live electrical socket than see this movie again.
I feel bad for the people that actually already own all the games available for compensation. I know there are more than a few people in this situation. That's the danger of them offering some of the more popular titles. Maybe Sony should have just given everybody a sizeable credit on their PSN account, available for them to spend any way they see fit. But they didn't. At any rate, I think Sony is at least trying to do the right thing for their fans and supporters, and I applaud them for it.
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