- Sarge - "Beguiling"
- Placebo - "Bionic"
- Jimmy Eat World - "Goodbye Sky Harbor"
- Pinback - "Penelope"
- The New Pornographers - "Letter From An Occupant"
- Dance Hall Crashers - "He Wants Me Back"
- UnSun - "The Last Tears"
- Taking Back Sunday - "Set Phasers to Stun"
- No Knife - "Parting Shot"
- Santigold - "You'll Find A Way"
- Cassettes Won't Listen - "Freeze and Explode"
- Ween - "Mutilated Lips"
- Liz Phair - "Fuck and Run"
- Felix da Housecat - "Everyone Is Someone In L.A."
- The Format - "Swans"
- The Spinto Band - "Oh Mandy"
- In This Moment - "Standing Alone"
- Del tha Funkee Homosapien - "Catch A Bad One"
- Seven Storey Mountain - "Politician"
- Nada Surf - "Bad Best Friend"
Monday, April 25, 2011
Playlist for 4/25/11
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Seven Deadly Sins
Yesterday, Bill and I spent the day with our friends Michelle and Eric. One of the many topics that came up was the Seven Deadly Sins, or, as Bill calls them, the Seven Paths to Happiness. Of course, he's being facetious (I think) when he says that. While I don't think they are really a key to happiness, I think they are a key to human nature. We all possess them in some measure. How you handle them defines some part of you. We were asking ourselves which of the sins best embodies us. So I'm going to list the "sins" and talk about how each of them is a part of me.
Now, before I do this, please understand that while I am referring to them as sins, I don't actually believe in the concept of sin. I don't believe in an afterlife with a punishment/reward scenario. So, I've removed the religious aspects of the definitions of these traits as I apply them to my own life and behavior. I see these "sins" as natural components of a person, and, like so many things, they are fine in moderation. It's only when it begins to dominate your life and interactions that it becomes a problem. But even then, it's not a sin. The repercussions are generally far more immediate than something that happens after you die. You'll be brought to task by the consequences of your actions, or by friends and family disowning you...
I wasn't sure which order I should put them in, so I went with alphabetical. Here goes:
ENVY
Envy is a part of my life. I fully admit that. It's not my "defining" sin, but it's up there. In my defense, I don't take it to the extreme of wanting to see people I envy brought low. Generally speaking, most of the people I envy are people I like, or people I don't know at all. I'm envious of people with musical talent. I've always wanted to be a musician. I used to fantasize and daydream about being a rock star. But while I was listening to music and daydreaming it was me on stage performing, other people were out actually learning an instrument.
So, I've only got myself to blame on that one. But that doesn't stop me evnying people like my brother, who taught himself bass and guitar because the desire to create music was so strong in him. I envy friends and family that have found jobs they love, or have the money to do all the things I want to do. I never resent them for this, I'm just kind of jealous. I'm jealous of people with artistic talent of any kind, and of people who don't want for inspiration when they endeavor to create.
So envy is definitely one of my defining characteristics. I try not to let it get out of hand, but I can't help but judge my own life against the lives of others, and sometimes I'm disappointed by the conclusions I draw.
GLUTTONY
Well, this is certainly a big one for me. Not the biggest, but probably the second biggest. I definitely am an overeater. Food is a source of more than just nutrition. It's a favorite subject to talk about. It's a comforting action. It's something to do when you're bored. It's a way to express your love of someone else. I sometimes think I'll always be overweight, because I just can't seem to resist the urge to eat. One of my favorite pastimes is to look through cookbooks and recipe websites and just try to imagine how those things would taste.
I could stand to lose some weight. Not because I hate the way I look, because I really don't. But I would like to not be winded from walking up a flight of stairs. I'd like to come home from a day out without my feet, knees, and back aching so badly that it discourages me from any further exertion. The problem is that they keep making food so...tasty.
GREED
Those who know me should be unsurprised that this is the sin I most embody. I love material things. When we were out with Michelle at various stores, including Best Buy, I found literally thousands of dollars worth of things I wanted. I'm sure most people want things that they can't have. But for me, it creates almost a physical ache of longing. When I saw the Nintendo 3DS in action, I think I audibly moaned. I had been skeptical of it's ability to render glasses-free 3-D. But when I saw how awesomely it delivered on my expectations, I knew I had to have one. I also saw a better HDTV, the Google TV system, dozens of video games, and all other manner of gadgets that I simply had to have. Even now, the next day, I can't stop thinking of all the things I want.
The negative way this affects me is that I am just terrible with money. I'm filled with greed, so when I have money, I tend to spend it foolishly. You could quadruple my salary, and I'd still have the same pittance at the end of the week. It really is true that the more you get, the more you want. It can't be helped. When we were saving up for our computer, it took Bill to snap me out of the ever-escalating insanity of want. We had enough to get a computer, but I thought "well, only $100 more and we can upgrade this..." Then we get the $100 and I start thinking, "oh, but for $200 more we can get this..." It's a neverending spiral of wanting more and more. Thankfully, Bill snapped me out of it, and we got a computer that we really like, and it's more than sufficient for our needs.
As a lifelong gamer, this is probably going to be a defining characteristic of mine until the day I die. Sad, but true. Still, there are worse sins to give in to.
LUST
There are some people, maybe those who knew me in college, or the people who knew me when I managed the porn store, who will think this is my biggest aspect. And don't get me wrong. I love pornography. I like the idea of it. I like the fantasy of it. And, when you couple my compulsive collecting and organizing behavior patterns with a love of porn, it can mean lots of lost evenings of sorting through sordid galleries of smut, for sure. But, believe it or not, I'm not sex-obsessed. I'd place lust somewhere in the middle in terms of prevalence in my life. It's not all I think about, and I'm not constantly thinking of the next time I have sex, or dwelling on the last time either.
Of course, there are those who think just looking at or downloading pornographic videos or pictures makes you a sick, lustful pervert. I happily, unreservedly disagree. Porn is healthy. Sexual hangups are the real problem. People need to lighten up.
PRIDE
I think this is the sin I least embody. Everyone can be excessively proud, but it certainly isn't the norm for me. If anything, I see myself as hopelessly mundane. That's why envy is so high up in my list. But if I'm to be completely honest with myself, there are definitely times when I see myself as better than other people. I try really hard to curtail those feelings though, because this can be one of the most harmful of these traits. I've noticed it the most when discussing religion with people. I have such a hard time understanding why someone would believe what I consider to be utterly ludicrous. So, the darkest part of me feels superior to believers, because I've had the strength of mind and reason to see through the lies of religion.
Another aspect of myself that I tie into pride is how much I love being praised. Maybe I just need validation. But when people talk about how good I am at my job, or how knowledgeable I am about a subject, I get such a charge out of it. Like most people, I'm prone to getting a big head with too much praise.
Despite all that, though, I don't see as much of this in me as the other sins.
SLOTH
Oh man, am I ever lazy. I will take the path of least resistance every single time. I'm predictable that way. If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. This is why a large portion of my daydreams center in some way around me and Bill winning the lottery or finding some other way out of an ordinary life and it's ordinary responsibilities. When people tell me things like "if I won the lottery, I'd still have to work, or I'd get bored," I just scoff. To me, a worthwhile day would begin with sleeping in. I can be perfectly content surfing the internet, playing video games, or listening to music. I hate work. Even when I like my job, I hate having to go to work. There's so much I'd rather (not) be doing right now.
It's depressing, and sometimes a little bit funny, how often I'll say things like "tomorrow I'll start exercising." Or "this weekend let's do a deep cleaning of the apartment." These things never happen, because even the thought of doing them is exhausting. At work, I've skipped taking a break just because it meant I'd have to get up and move to another part of the room. How pathetic is that?
I try to find the silver lining though. While being slothful means I don't get anything done, it also affords me less opportunities to mess anything up.
WRATH
Anyone that has heard me when I've suffered some slight by a person on the phone, or in a car while I'm walking, knows that there is no shortage of wrath in me. I sometimes seethe with hatred for hours after one of these incidents, just imagining all the horrible things that could happen to the offending person. Many people have heard me say "die in a fire" or something similar when I feel somewhat put out.
I'm not the type to act out this anger physically. For one thing, I'm a weakling. If I acted upon my wrathful urgings, I'd find myself on my ass more often than not. But hateful thoughts? Yeah, I've got that in spades. And maybe it's with a touch of pride that I say I have a witty and particularly sharp tongue. If you've wronged me, I may envision your death, but the revenge I carry out is usually to make you cry. You can laugh if you want, but I've done it before. Am I proud of that? Well, yeah, a little. I know it's wrong, but when that curtain of seething red rage passes over my eyes, I just don't care if your feelings are hurt. In fact, I see it as justice.
So, there you have it. I have to admit I'm a bit surprised. Before I really started thinking about it, I felt like I didn't have Pride or Wrath at all. But, if you look at the spectrum of the so-called deadly sins, I shine like a star right in the middle of them all. But don't be too shocked or smug, you probably do too.
Now, before I do this, please understand that while I am referring to them as sins, I don't actually believe in the concept of sin. I don't believe in an afterlife with a punishment/reward scenario. So, I've removed the religious aspects of the definitions of these traits as I apply them to my own life and behavior. I see these "sins" as natural components of a person, and, like so many things, they are fine in moderation. It's only when it begins to dominate your life and interactions that it becomes a problem. But even then, it's not a sin. The repercussions are generally far more immediate than something that happens after you die. You'll be brought to task by the consequences of your actions, or by friends and family disowning you...
I wasn't sure which order I should put them in, so I went with alphabetical. Here goes:
ENVY
Envy is a part of my life. I fully admit that. It's not my "defining" sin, but it's up there. In my defense, I don't take it to the extreme of wanting to see people I envy brought low. Generally speaking, most of the people I envy are people I like, or people I don't know at all. I'm envious of people with musical talent. I've always wanted to be a musician. I used to fantasize and daydream about being a rock star. But while I was listening to music and daydreaming it was me on stage performing, other people were out actually learning an instrument.
So, I've only got myself to blame on that one. But that doesn't stop me evnying people like my brother, who taught himself bass and guitar because the desire to create music was so strong in him. I envy friends and family that have found jobs they love, or have the money to do all the things I want to do. I never resent them for this, I'm just kind of jealous. I'm jealous of people with artistic talent of any kind, and of people who don't want for inspiration when they endeavor to create.
So envy is definitely one of my defining characteristics. I try not to let it get out of hand, but I can't help but judge my own life against the lives of others, and sometimes I'm disappointed by the conclusions I draw.
GLUTTONY
Well, this is certainly a big one for me. Not the biggest, but probably the second biggest. I definitely am an overeater. Food is a source of more than just nutrition. It's a favorite subject to talk about. It's a comforting action. It's something to do when you're bored. It's a way to express your love of someone else. I sometimes think I'll always be overweight, because I just can't seem to resist the urge to eat. One of my favorite pastimes is to look through cookbooks and recipe websites and just try to imagine how those things would taste.
I could stand to lose some weight. Not because I hate the way I look, because I really don't. But I would like to not be winded from walking up a flight of stairs. I'd like to come home from a day out without my feet, knees, and back aching so badly that it discourages me from any further exertion. The problem is that they keep making food so...tasty.
GREED
Those who know me should be unsurprised that this is the sin I most embody. I love material things. When we were out with Michelle at various stores, including Best Buy, I found literally thousands of dollars worth of things I wanted. I'm sure most people want things that they can't have. But for me, it creates almost a physical ache of longing. When I saw the Nintendo 3DS in action, I think I audibly moaned. I had been skeptical of it's ability to render glasses-free 3-D. But when I saw how awesomely it delivered on my expectations, I knew I had to have one. I also saw a better HDTV, the Google TV system, dozens of video games, and all other manner of gadgets that I simply had to have. Even now, the next day, I can't stop thinking of all the things I want.
The negative way this affects me is that I am just terrible with money. I'm filled with greed, so when I have money, I tend to spend it foolishly. You could quadruple my salary, and I'd still have the same pittance at the end of the week. It really is true that the more you get, the more you want. It can't be helped. When we were saving up for our computer, it took Bill to snap me out of the ever-escalating insanity of want. We had enough to get a computer, but I thought "well, only $100 more and we can upgrade this..." Then we get the $100 and I start thinking, "oh, but for $200 more we can get this..." It's a neverending spiral of wanting more and more. Thankfully, Bill snapped me out of it, and we got a computer that we really like, and it's more than sufficient for our needs.
As a lifelong gamer, this is probably going to be a defining characteristic of mine until the day I die. Sad, but true. Still, there are worse sins to give in to.
LUST
There are some people, maybe those who knew me in college, or the people who knew me when I managed the porn store, who will think this is my biggest aspect. And don't get me wrong. I love pornography. I like the idea of it. I like the fantasy of it. And, when you couple my compulsive collecting and organizing behavior patterns with a love of porn, it can mean lots of lost evenings of sorting through sordid galleries of smut, for sure. But, believe it or not, I'm not sex-obsessed. I'd place lust somewhere in the middle in terms of prevalence in my life. It's not all I think about, and I'm not constantly thinking of the next time I have sex, or dwelling on the last time either.
Of course, there are those who think just looking at or downloading pornographic videos or pictures makes you a sick, lustful pervert. I happily, unreservedly disagree. Porn is healthy. Sexual hangups are the real problem. People need to lighten up.
PRIDE
I think this is the sin I least embody. Everyone can be excessively proud, but it certainly isn't the norm for me. If anything, I see myself as hopelessly mundane. That's why envy is so high up in my list. But if I'm to be completely honest with myself, there are definitely times when I see myself as better than other people. I try really hard to curtail those feelings though, because this can be one of the most harmful of these traits. I've noticed it the most when discussing religion with people. I have such a hard time understanding why someone would believe what I consider to be utterly ludicrous. So, the darkest part of me feels superior to believers, because I've had the strength of mind and reason to see through the lies of religion.
Another aspect of myself that I tie into pride is how much I love being praised. Maybe I just need validation. But when people talk about how good I am at my job, or how knowledgeable I am about a subject, I get such a charge out of it. Like most people, I'm prone to getting a big head with too much praise.
Despite all that, though, I don't see as much of this in me as the other sins.
SLOTH
Oh man, am I ever lazy. I will take the path of least resistance every single time. I'm predictable that way. If I didn't have to work, I wouldn't. This is why a large portion of my daydreams center in some way around me and Bill winning the lottery or finding some other way out of an ordinary life and it's ordinary responsibilities. When people tell me things like "if I won the lottery, I'd still have to work, or I'd get bored," I just scoff. To me, a worthwhile day would begin with sleeping in. I can be perfectly content surfing the internet, playing video games, or listening to music. I hate work. Even when I like my job, I hate having to go to work. There's so much I'd rather (not) be doing right now.
It's depressing, and sometimes a little bit funny, how often I'll say things like "tomorrow I'll start exercising." Or "this weekend let's do a deep cleaning of the apartment." These things never happen, because even the thought of doing them is exhausting. At work, I've skipped taking a break just because it meant I'd have to get up and move to another part of the room. How pathetic is that?
I try to find the silver lining though. While being slothful means I don't get anything done, it also affords me less opportunities to mess anything up.
WRATH
Anyone that has heard me when I've suffered some slight by a person on the phone, or in a car while I'm walking, knows that there is no shortage of wrath in me. I sometimes seethe with hatred for hours after one of these incidents, just imagining all the horrible things that could happen to the offending person. Many people have heard me say "die in a fire" or something similar when I feel somewhat put out.
I'm not the type to act out this anger physically. For one thing, I'm a weakling. If I acted upon my wrathful urgings, I'd find myself on my ass more often than not. But hateful thoughts? Yeah, I've got that in spades. And maybe it's with a touch of pride that I say I have a witty and particularly sharp tongue. If you've wronged me, I may envision your death, but the revenge I carry out is usually to make you cry. You can laugh if you want, but I've done it before. Am I proud of that? Well, yeah, a little. I know it's wrong, but when that curtain of seething red rage passes over my eyes, I just don't care if your feelings are hurt. In fact, I see it as justice.
So, there you have it. I have to admit I'm a bit surprised. Before I really started thinking about it, I felt like I didn't have Pride or Wrath at all. But, if you look at the spectrum of the so-called deadly sins, I shine like a star right in the middle of them all. But don't be too shocked or smug, you probably do too.
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