Of course, life is an ever-changing journey. A true life philosophy should be flexible, fluid. Not rigid and unchanging. This is one of the problems I have with religion. Religion tends to be dogmatic and limiting. It doesn't take into consideration that everybody is different, from diverse backgrounds, and with different formative experiences. This is wrong. That is right. There's no wiggle-room. No room for actual growth. It mostly seems to be a case of "submit or die." Or at least suffer an eternity in torment AFTER you die. Same thing. It's inflexible, and not for me.
So, here's what I believe. These are my rules to live by. Like all people, I'm fallable. I may hold an ideal as something to strive for, but I won't always achieve it. But the important thing is I continue to strive. And, if I can stick to these points, I feel I'll be a better person for it. There's a lot to, this, so this will take several entries, I'm sure.
Without further ado, and in no particular order:
- Pursue your own happiness. What this means to me is that you are responsible for your own happiness. Daydreams and fantasies are fine. But they don't actually accomplish anything. So, if you want happiness, reach for it. Nobody else is required to make you happy. They should be focused on pursuing their own.
What does this mean for the individual? How do you pursue happiness? You recognize opportunities. If I see something that will bring me happiness, I go for it. Maybe it's a new book, or game, or some other material consideration. Or maybe it's being open to making a new friend. I certainly pursued happiness when Bill first made a romantic overture to me. Be open to the things that make you happy, even if it means leaving your comfort zone once in a while.
Of course, there's a caveat. If video games make me happy, then this edict seems to suggest I forego other things to get those games. But if I buy video games at the expense of paying my bills, then I'm going to be creating unhappiness. The stress and worry of how I'll be able to pay rent or if my power will be shut off contribute to unhappiness. So, a rational person has to weigh these factors in their pursuit.
The bottom line is, I have the right to be happy. But that doesn't mean someone else has the responsibility to make me happy. - Don't interfere with other peoples' pursuit of their own happiness. In fact, if you can bring happiness to someone else without compromising your own or someone else's, then do so. The world will only be a better place if everyone wants to improve the quality of life for all. If you just have individuals or groups acting selfishly, then some people may have a better life, but they leave the world at large in a worse position.
This actually plays into the previous rule. You are the most important person in your world. The people you care about are important to you, so you should want them to be happy, and feel loved and important. The best way to do that is to help them achieve their own goals. To bring them pleasure. To let them know how important they are. They'll feel better, and so will you, because you're propping up the people that make your own world interesting.
But even people you don't know deserve to live their own lives as they see fit. They should follow their own paths to joy. If it doesn't hurt you or anyone else, then why interfere? In fact, help them out. Every little thing that you do for someone can snowball into big things. It makes the world better, too.
But if they decide what makes them happy is, for instance, rape...then their pursuit is harmful to others and not covered by this rule. - Never be ashamed of what you like. I just don't believe in the concept of a "guilty pleasure." If it pleases me, why should I feel guilty over it? If it's a song I love that other people think is cheesy, or uncool, then why should I be embarrassed? I'm not the one with the issue. If you don't like something, don't expose yourself to it. But don't limit me on what I like. Don't try to make me feel like I have to hide it. Whether it's the music you listen to, the movies you watch, the books you read, the people you're attracted to, or anything else, don't be embarrassed or ashamed. You don't need validation from outside sources. You validate yourself.
- Try new things. It's really easy to become stagnant. You fall into a routine, and it's comfortable. But, to grow as a person, you need to step outside of your comfort zone once in a while. This one is hard to do for a lot of people, myself included. You like the things you like, so you become comfortable just doing those things. But how many new things are you missing out on? Right now, my favorite food is tacos. But maybe there's another food out there that surpasses tacos in every way. If I don't try new things now and then, I'll never discover a new favorite.
This one is admittedly hard, and one of the things I fail at regularly. But I think it's important. For me, I've been trying to find new music and read different types of books. I may not like everything I discover, but I feel enriched for broadening my horizons. Of course, this can apply to all aspects of life. Don't be afraid to be daring or bold sometimes. - Explore when you have the opportunity. This ties in to the last point. Much like trying new things, go off the beaten path from time to time. Take a new way home. Go for walks. Drive through unfamiliar neighborhoods. The best way to expand your horizon is to go toward it, so to speak. Change your viewpoint and gain new perspective. You may learn a lot about where you live, the people around you, or even yourself.
I'm with you on the guilty pleasures thought. I don't care what other people think of what I like.
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